I like stuff.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Something to say #1

And this is today's news:

The Inquiry on Firing Federal Prosecutors continues, but probably still won't amount to much in the long run.

Another execution in Iraq. You'd think that if they're going to discard with certain pleasantries
(I know, it's the Onion, but sometimes we need the laughs),they might as well think up something a little more efficient, no more of this single serving execution nonsense.

The Siberians prove that they still have more Mine Disaster Know-How than those West Virginian amateurs.

The Pet Food Scare has jumped the shark and given up on all reporting except human interest stories. Bonus Evil points go to Menu Foods for killing seven lab animals while testing to see if it was worth having a recall to begin with, with a triple word score for listing their name as the "Menu Foods Income Fund" on their website (some part of me wants to believe the domain was hijacked. Irony like that rarely exists in the real world.)

From Fight Club:
Very modern art.

Take the number of vehicles in the field, A.
Multiply it by the probable rate of failure, B.
Multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, C.

A x B x C equals X.

If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
And of course my favorite article, the two southern gents that tried a double suicide using a circular saw. They lived. I just keep picturing the one that still has one arm left looking at the saw and thinking "Aw, shit. Hadn't thought of this." (But even that story is trying to go human interest now.)

What a weird world.

1 comment:

Matthew said...

Your news is strange.