I saw your product in my local grocer today, and I felt compelled to share with you a piece of advice. The next time you have a product development meeting, make sure that the boys down in marketing have not been sampling your products, nor giving them to their focus groups. I suspect that the following conversation may have occurred at some point.
Marketer A: So we have a new product coming out, and we need a name for it. Something that really grabs people's attention. It'll be another in our line of malt beverages.
Marketer B: How about Malt-o-drink?
Marketer A: I think the lawyers at Malt-o-meal would have our nuts in a vice before we hit shelves.
Marketer B: So Drink-o-meal is probably out too, huh?
Marketer A: Definitely.
Marketer B: Ovaltine has malt, right? We could market it like an alcholic Ovaltine: The Ovaltini!
Marketer A: The parents groups already hate us enough.
Marketer B: *scratches head*
Marketer A: Have another "Hard Creamer", Bob.