I like stuff.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Bad Ideas.

Dear Faceless Malt Beverage Company.

I saw your product in my local grocer today, and I felt compelled to share with you a piece of advice. The next time you have a product development meeting, make sure that the boys down in marketing have not been sampling your products, nor giving them to their focus groups. I suspect that the following conversation may have occurred at some point.

Marketer A: So we have a new product coming out, and we need a name for it. Something that really grabs people's attention. It'll be another in our line of malt beverages.

Marketer B: How about Malt-o-drink?

Marketer A: I think the lawyers at Malt-o-meal would have our nuts in a vice before we hit shelves.

Marketer B: So Drink-o-meal is probably out too, huh?

Marketer A: Definitely.

Marketer B: Ovaltine has malt, right? We could market it like an alcholic Ovaltine: The Ovaltini!

Marketer A: The parents groups already hate us enough.

Marketer B: *scratches head*

Marketer A: Have another "Hard Creamer", Bob.


1 comment:

Desultory said...

How is that wrong? Let me count the ways ...

The malt beverages do scare me so.