Spammity spammy fun time

Yes, I'm a dork and regularly read my spam. This one (sent three times) gets special mention.

And I thought it wouldn't get worse...

Interesting image, indeed.

Sometimes, you just need to call it quits.

Case #1:
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:


Case #2:
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:


Case #3:
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Goodnight. I can't (or won't) do this anymore.

Notice: Employers

I understand that employers want to know what they are getting into when bringing someone into the fold

However, if you think my sarcasm, frustration, angst, anything that you may have read here is worthy of filtering me out of the pool, I respectfully acknowledge your decision.

On my part, if you think that I will give you my passwords as part of a job or an application, I think we are terribly mismatched and will go about my business.

Thank you.

Thoughts

I've been reading a lot of news lately about government interfering in people's views on contraception by way of mandate.

It makes me think of this:

This was the park that my mother used to stand in line for (and I with her, sometimes) for "Government commodities" Low-income households could qualify to get USDA-approved handouts (which, to be honest, were not that good, but met minimum guidelines)...I'll tell you, I'm thankful, but it still sucked.

They would give you a bag of sugar, a bag of flour, (if you were lucky) a few packets of dehydrated eggs, a container of peanut butter, a big box of powdered milk. Sometimes, you'd get a little more, sometimes a little less. It was always better than nothing, and even though my mother got child support, some alimony, help from my grandparents, eventually SSD, it's never quite the posh life, but let me get back to my point:

The thing I loathed the most: Ground pork, in a can. My mother within her means substituted it best she could in place of ground beef. I hated it, but I was fed.

Which brings me back to my original point: I remember being in that park, but I don't remember people turning much away. I definitely don't remember some sort of outrage that somehow the federal government (and all you/us taxpayers) were somehow insulting anyone that perhaps the pork products went against their beliefs. I don't recall any outrage that the feds were using taxpayer money to give the porcine to those that identified with Judiasm or Islam or vegetarians or whatever...

I respect any religion that believes in a thing, but I humbly suggest that if the federal government is really trying to do a good thing, there is absolutely no way to please every person all of the time.

I would ask that if there's something that's really getting under your skin, and you think the government is somehow impinging upon your beliefs, stand up and give another option.

Retch

Yum! Brands! I! Think! I! Hate! You!

*cough* *cough* *hurl*

Like many of our customers, I grew up with the brands. My family loved a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I took dates to Pizza Hut. When I was in college, every Sunday, I used to go and chow down on six or seven tacos, maybe eight (at Taco Bell).

I like food. I enjoy it. I may be braver than some when it comes to eating, but I've always lived by the idea of "Try everything once, if you don't like it, at least you can say so out of conviction." (I have a respected friend that says "Try everything twice. Maybe the first time it was made lousy")

I've eaten a lot of food that might not look so palatable to my peers (I'm still working on how to convince my fianceé to eat fish or other seafood), and I think the only times I can remember having a hard time enjoying it is lutefisk, and the eye-stalks on some fully-fried shrimp. (The former, being a horror nobody should eat, the latter wouldn't have been a problem if I'd ever found that famous brain-off switch and didn't think about it as much)

I'm not much of a world-traveler, only been to Canadia once and Mexico a couple times. My trip to Canada was not that remarkable (It was circa 1990, and at the ripe age of 13, not that adventurous), but I had a really awesome meal in Mexico where the locals (It was a church trip where we were helping them out), thanked us by making us food. I was 15, but clever enough to know this was the real stuff (and their generosity may have put a pinch on their usual budgets)

I want to eat pho in Vietnam. I want to try a single piece of nigiri in Japan from a master. I want to know what real goulash tastes like. I want to taste from a real plate of sausages somewhere in northern Europe. I want somebody to take pity on me and explain why kimchi is what it is.

I do not want to work in my life saving up for getting to see these real experiences and then show up to "Woo! 59c chilito! With a side of fried chicken!"

Call me a snob and I'll call you a liar. I don't want to be a tourist. When/if I get to see more of the world, I want the real thing, I don't want "And our parent company Pepsico made us put Doritos in everything because it keeps the profit margins running across the business lines!"

Dreams.

My mind works in weird ways.

I had a dream last night that I was in my old (years ago old) house, and came home and was confronted by some guy. He fit every stereotype of german industrial music from the late 80's/early 90's, (black leather pants/vest with the minimum of added studs, short bleached and spiked hair, etc.) and started towards me in a menacing way swinging a length of chain.

As he got closer, I grabbed the chain, and he burst out into song, horrible rock-opera style (all in German), so I responded in dramatic gibberish-German song...

Pulled him downstairs to my brother's bedroom, handed my brother the end of the chain and said "It's your turn to walk Adolf" (Maybe it was "Hans" or "Rolf." I forget now)

Then I woke up.

Hah.

I do read my spam. Tonight's special winner was the adult-chat pan-handler that went on a long and rambling message (of near incoherence) that apparently was so excited to talk to me again (I never have) that they forgot to include their SUPR-XCLUSIVE chat room or the SUPER-SEKRIT password (that they only get to give out a few times a month)

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? In case u dont know
who this is its ME PAIGE.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me :( haha.. anyways guess what... I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol... ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..I remember when we chatted
u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally
can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in...are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused...anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe...we only chatted a couple
times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol...ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah...who doesnt..I really hope we get
a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..
do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i......???? ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA... BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh...anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..
ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else... the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF... i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER... i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...
if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U... im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan :( I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move... REALLY i mean that....anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont
wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha...k babe im out
for now... chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo PAIGE