The Church of the Lesser Herring

Ok, so I swore off founding religions at least once before, but you know, when it comes natural to you, it's hard to hold back the flood.

So, I present the First Doctrine of the Church Of the Lesser Herring:

Once, there was the Greater Herring, possibly an older sibling of the Lesser Herring, and thus uninmportant to this story, as it probably has a church of its own by now. Stupid greater herring.

But the Lesser Herring, being a cold-water fish, was supremely important in its place in the universe, whether it be pickled, kippered, fried, or shunned. The Lesser Herring was accustomed to all this, and watching its even Lesser Siblings (it was a large brood. Let me remind you not to hang around with the ilk of the Church of the Least Herring. Bunch of whiners)

The Lesser Herring knew of adversity, of icebergs, cold-water, global-warming, zombie attack. Supremely, the Lesser Herring knew that if one could get accustomed to eating Scandinavian Cuisine, one could surmount nearly any challenge.

It is in this light that we should all try to model ourselves under the steadfast Lesser Herring.