Ongoing Dispute #1

Due to the move, I was checking out the police blotter of the city I'm moving to, and some of this stuff is just a comedic goldmine. So under the advice of my attorney, I may have to make it a regular feature to post highlights.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

• Police arrested a suspect in the attempted robbery of Popeye's in the Pavilion Shopping Center about 11:40 p.m. Friday. The suspect may have simulated a gun with his finger during the attempted robbery at Boulevard A and B Street, police said.

• A caller said several trees were on fire near the Community Center, but it turned out the fires were part of a bonfire at the park, 3:31 a.m.

• A man was driving a golf cart and spraying chemicals into the gutter of a city street, 2:19 p.m.
  


• A white SUV struck a man, but the man continued walking, 6:24 p.m.


• A woman said "undesirables" took her mind, spirit and body inside Denny's. The reporting party though the woman may have been on drugs or had forgotten to take medication, 7:46 p.m.


• Ten youths, ages 13-16, were yelling obscenities at passersby, 8:32 p.m.


• A caller heard nine to 10 gunshots and then heard youths say, "Woo hoo," 1:46 p.m,


• A man had passed out next to a boombox playing very loud music, 2:33 p.m.


• A 91-year-old woman with an ax was trying to break down a door. Responding police said the incident was part of an ongoing issue between two parties, and each party agreed to leave one another alone for the night, 7:23 p.m.


• A resident who was sitting in his car parked in his driveway said a naked man was standing outside his front door. Then the man walked down the street and hid behind a parked vehicle. Officers were unable to locate the nude suspect, 1:26 a.m.


• Someone pushed a shopping cart through a dance studio's front window, 8:17 a.m.


• A rider fell off a horse, 3:05 p.m.


• Fire personnel responded after a man passed out on a bus after he allegedly huffed spraypaint. The suspect ran off the bus and down a service road when he saw police, 4:46 p.m.


• A resident of the 4800 block of Street Circle said a Cinco de Mayo party held by "neo-Nazi gangbangers" was too loud. An officer responded and noted the noise was coming from two people with a loud radio and there was no "neo-Nazi Cinco de Mayo party.", 7:33 p.m.


• A stuffed animal was hanging from a pole from a noose and children were looking at it, 3:49 p.m.


• Three iPods were stolen from a locked vehicle after a window was smashed for entry, 7:10 a.m.


• A transient was seen defecating in a resident's back yard, 9:46 a.m.


• A student's mother said another school mother and the woman's child had been flipping her and her child off repeatedly and wanted police to advise them, 3:08 p.m.


• A grocery store customer was hit by a "fixture" and was injured on the legs and hands, 10:23 p.m.


• A mail carrier said she went to ask a certified letter recipient in the 16300 block of Spanish Fish Drive to sign for delivery and the resident let out a dog when she opened the door. The dog ran toward the mail carrier, so she took out her "dog spray." The resident became upset and started cussing at the mail carrier and raised her hand as if she was going to hit her. The mail carrier ran to her truck and hid inside while the resident banged on the truck. An assault report was filed after the incident, 2:07 p.m.


• A box of toilet paper was on fire in a storeroom of a restaurant, 10:37 a.m.


• A caller said two men were leaning against a wall smoking, and one was holding a white stuffed animal. The caller thought the men may have been trying to lure children, 3:58 p.m. (no speculation if this is the same stuffed animal hanging from a telephone pole earlier)


• A resident of the 2800 block of 17th Street said someone had broken into her residence and ordered adult movies. She said she discovered the intrusion after she received her cable bill,7:53 p.m.


• A 22-year-old man who was being treated at a hospital for self-inflicted Airsoft gunshot wounds stole a laptop at the hospital and made suicide threats, 12:01 p.m.


• A car struck a 7-year-old boy but he was seen "sitting up and coherent" after the accident, 6:37 p.m.

Source: Orange County Register

So, uh, good week to be a pedestrian hit by a car, bad week to be a stuffed animal?